A leading radio advertisement starts out asking "Are you single, lonely, tired of the bar scene and skeptical of the single's video dating service? then you more than likely are suffering from singleitis..." finding companionship and a new network of friends post-divorce is such a challenging endeavor that they have named a new 'social condition' after this. How do you coach your clients in creating a new single support system for themselves? Where do they go to look for this? If they live in suburbia, compared to a large city, there is virtually no designated singles place to go. The suburbs are geared toward married couples and families.
Single lifestyles
Although over 50 percent of the marriages end in divorce, our society still revolves around a "married lifestyle". Individuals who come to see me post-divorce are floundering in a sea of aloneness with no clear "single" options. Their previous married friends no longer want to socialize with them and they usually don't have a whole lot of single friends to start hanging out with. Some of their married friends go to dinner and the movies with other couples over the weekend. Even if their friends included them in these plans, there is no networking of single people to meet while they are out. Confronted with rejection from married friends and not many new single options, these clients feel alone and unsure of how to create a future that has potential in meeting other singles like themselves.
Many of my male divorced clients end up working more to fill the time as well as to make more money. Since this increases their exposure to people in their line of work, they date their secretaries or nurses. Some of them would like a way to meet women in other areas of business or medicine but they have no idea how to accomplish this.
Some divorced female clients, on the other hand, have had to figure out how to generate an income on top of relocating their homes, having all the daily responsibilities of raising their children and running a home, etc. They have no specific way of meeting new friends or potential dates nor do they have a lot of extra time to do it in. They are in a real double bind because this exhausting lifestyle does not allow much time for themselves; yet at the end of a busy day they yearn to be with some nurturing partner who can "give the giver" something. But when (and where) do they have time to find this person?