When a relationship changes, itÕs possible to recreate it in a new and higher form. This new form can include elements of the best of what you had with that person and will exclude what didnÕt work. In attempting to close one form of relationship, a way of shifting into a new form is needed.
Deep meaningful relationships can be shifted to a higher form if both people are consciously willing to do this. Conversations are the primary way to do this and some form of written communication may also provide the necessary tool for closure.
As you write some kind of letter to your loved one, you are able to organize and better express your feelings. Writing, in general, allows for an opportunity for emotional catharsis. It can help you let go of the old form by expressing all your doubts and fears as well as your hopes and desires.
The letter, once it is shared with your partner, creates a tangible form of closure. It also creates an opportunity for your partner to share his/her feelings, fears, and desires. The following is an example of one of those letters. By demonstration, this letter shows how to deal with upset feelings from a higher perspective.
Dear Loved One,
I am so scared. You have been the closest man to me in my life. It is so hard to let go of the form of our relationship... to let go of my attachment to you. I feel like something deep inside of me is dying - like I am dying too. I canÕt stop crying. I feel you in every cell of my body pulling away from me... pulling back into yourself. I feel so vulnerable, so raw and so broken. I gave you everything I had to give - my heart, my soul, my body and I even opened up to you in places I didnÕt even know I had closed. And now you are leaving me in this form in order to take care of your own business. Even though I knew this day would come, I had no idea it would hurt so much or would happen like this. I was so arrogant to think I could handle this - I canÕt. I have been praying all day for the strength to let go, for the courage to walk my own journey and to choose what is in the highest. I canÕt do it, yet somehow I am putting one foot in front of the other and walking is showing up.
I loved you more than any lover or husband I have been with. I never willingly let my heart be broken like this before. I think you know that. Naked before you I have stood, not hiding any part of me. And you received me fully. For that and much more I thank you. I have never felt so chosen by anyone as completely as I have felt chosen by you. Each time I wanted to run away from the love and the vulnerability I didnÕt run. I kept opening even when I was terrified. I let you in so deeply. My love for you defies words. I donÕt even know how to speak of it. I just know that the form I am used to, am comfortable with, and I look forward to every day is dying.
I know somewhere, in my heart of hearts, that we will never be apart, that we will always be in each otherÕs lives and that our love is a bond beyond anything I have known before. I am walking on trust that it will reform into something higher for both of us, whatever form that takes. It just all seems so unknown to me and I want to reach out and hold onto you and to say, ÒdonÕt goÓ, but I also know you have to do what you have to do.
Loved one, I support you and love you. I know you are up against some hard choices with their respective challenges. I will never stop loving you and will be here for you. I am your friend and soul mate. Those things will not change.
Each time my heart breaks I feel like I wonÕt survive it., and each time I do. This is just the hardest one for me... letting go of my truest love. I guess love really is about letting go. Unconditional love is always about supporting the other in what is in their highest, it just always asks so much of a soul.
Love has shown me how much I can stretch, how much farther past my limits I can go. It truly continues to reshape me into becoming the living embodiment of light and of spirit, of who I really am that I have not known that I am. I am unconditional love and you have helped show me this. You have given me such a great gift. Thank you for your love and steadfastness, for standing with me even when you had no idea what was going on or if you could handle it. You stood with me and together we found the way where loved flowed between us.
You have my love,
(sign your name here)