Lisheyna Hurvitz

Lisheyna HurvitzAs a licensed psychotherapist, Lisheyna has created a Lifestyle format that is extremely effective in helping people grow and change. As a Lifestyle Consultant, she utilizes a unique blend of emotional, psychological and spiritual approaches which enable her to produce practical results.

In her consultations and groups, she helps people address personal and societal pressures, including the pressure to be perfect. As a gifted empath, she is able to empathize with her client’s feelings, quickly getting to the heart of the matter, thereby producing rapid results.

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The Inner Process of Divorce June 1995 PDF Print E-mail

Is divorce, a quick fix, a way out of an unsatisfying situation, or a wrenching apart of our entire lives? Is it a pleasant process or one which leaves us with a deep, raw emotional wound and on very uneven footing?

Most likely, divorce is an experience which leaves the best of us being internally and externally turned inside out and upside down. It is a process which makes Alice in WonderlandÕs trip look sane and clear.

The divorce process usually leaves everyone involved feeling scarred. It is a difficult thing to go through because you lose most, if not all, of what you have came to identify as ÔrealityÕ. All of the old landmarks and ways of knowing who you are in the world are suddenly gone.

What is left is a terribly empty void. In this void you tend to scan for something familiar, something you can hold on to. However, often there is little, if anything, left. Places and events that used to have meaning prior to the divorce no longer have the same meaning. New interpretations need to be made in almost every situation.

There is a flooding of newness and a fear that we cannot cope, that life as we knew it will never be the same. We strive to give new meaning to our lives while being immersed in the daily chores of living.

This search for new meaning and the sorting out seems to be a full-time job. Unfortunately, the process has to be done at the same time that we are doing the essentials for daily living: working, shopping, keeping house, caring for the children. It is difficult to conduct an existential search while trying to survive at the physical level.

The process is often a very lonely one. It is the existential aloneness and lack of familiar meaning and order that is so challenging. It is like being thrust into the world constantly missing an important part of a unit that is no more. It is shocking that things will never be the same.

Everything is up for question from who I am, to where I am going, and to what I will I do when I get there? We constantly feel like an outsider who has lost their way. ÒCould you tell me which way to OZ, kind madam?Ó Or is it Oz you are looking for?

Not knowing who you are anymore is a fundamentally disconcerting way to feel, and most people try to avoid it at all costs. Redefining your entire life seems too ominous a task. It takes a person of great inner courage and strength to walk on this unfamiliar path without markers. This unknown space creates an opening for a way to be, for new definition of yourself.

As soon as possible in post-divorce, we need to look within to redefine ourselves. Who you were used to exist in relation to an intimate other who is no longer present. Now you are on your own and need to redefine who you are to yourself. If you are willing to allow your life to change, then you can recreate yourself anew.